Well, as you may have noticed, my lofty ambitions for delving into the text of all our songs, kind of dissipated because of being busier than I expected and simply because of not feeling like it when I had the time. It sounded good when I thought about it in my head and it was fun while it lasted.
This is a sort of post-tour ramble and I don’t expect it to be long, because I am still processing a lot of this stuff.
KYC Tour 2011 has been an incredible time of me learning what real worship means. I think this year has turned worship into something less nebulous and something more tangible.
Before this tour, I had known for some time (in my head) that worship wasn’t about what you felt inside–whether or not you got warm fuzzies while singing the songs. I learned that worship is a lot more about giving God glory whether or not you want to. Worship isn’t supposed to hinge on my happiness or my level of energy. Worship is just as much acknowledging God’s power when I am weak.
Often the feelings seemed to follow when I simply told God that I didn’t feel like worshipping Him at the moment, when I confessed my inadequacy to sufficiently magnify His name. I also learned to be okay with it when I didn’t get those good feelings. I’m starting to learn that if God gets the glory, and I’ve done my best giving it to Him, than I’ve done my part. If he chooses to give me those feelings of adoration toward Him as a bonus that’s His business.
Probably the most important thing I learned, was that my sacrifice in my worship shows my surrender to God, and therefore magnifies Him more than when I feel like worshipping Him. Almost anyone can say, “Praise the Lord,” when things are going well. But God is glorified much more in our weakness than in our strength.
I’ve concluded that maybe the things (feelings, etcetera) I’ve associated with worship in past may not have been true worship after all, but perhaps some of the nice bonuses from worship, if you will–things that feel like worship but aren’t really its essence.
I’ve concluded that perhaps the actual sacrifice I make, may be more of what worship is about, than how I actually feel toward God at the moment. The neat thing is, often the attitude change follows the surrender. When God changes your outlook after you have given up the results to Him, it’s like He says, “Look how much better things go when you just give yourself up to me.” It’s something still trying to wrap my mind around, but it’s been excellent to think about.
Your thoughts? What do you think of when you think of worship?